As a parent I’m supposed to be the one guiding and teaching my children, and I hope that I do, but the reality is that they’re always teaching me. They keep trying to teach me the lesson of patience and long-suffering…..the hard way, but I’m stubborn on that one, it seems.
A few months ago my oldest, Abby, was pretty sick and long after we’d put her in bed her coughing woke me up. So, as any good parent would do, I heaved my self, barely-conscious, out of bed and lumbered through the darkness to the medicine cabinet and poured her some cough medicine. Now, a bit more awake I made my way to her room where her little body lay jerking and twisting as she coughed in her sleep.
“Abby. Abby, wake up, baby.”
Her half-opened eyes met mine in the darkness.
“Here, drink this.”
Without a blink she took the elixir from me, drank it, handed me the cup back faded off to sleep once more.
I know this isn’t a unique story, and it’s one that plays out nightly all over the world- the child is in need, the parent meets the need, end of story. That night as I laid there in my bed, now wide awake, I couldn’t shake a single thought from my mind. Was it how much I loved my daughter? Was it how I hoped she would feel better soon? Was it that I was very, very tired and should have really been sleeping? No, no and no. The one thought…one word, really, that kept running through my mind was “Guyana.”
“Guyana.”
Jonestown, Guyana to be exact.
On November 18, 1978 276 children were handed cups and told, “Here, drink this baby.” and they did.
That’s the power of trust, and that’s the lesson my daughter taught me that night. She trusts me with her life. And I must protect her with mine.
Then I wondered, “Do I trust God that much?” I’m still not sure I have an answer.
Jesus, knowing what was in his cup prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Do I have that kind of trust in my Father? Will I drink the cup he gives me in faith? Honestly, I don’t know. I’d like to think so, but then the fellow known as the “rich young ruler” would likely have said the same thing before he met Jesus.
He went away sad. Would I?
Father, I pray that you teach me what child-like faith really means. Teach me to trust you as my baby girl trusts me. Teach me to take the cup you offer without question and to simply know that you offer me only what I need…only what will make me better. Though it wake me from my slumber and leave the bitter taste of medicine in my mouth, may I drink willingly, simply, faithfully from the cup you offer me in my darkness.